Being a Good Mentor
A happy mentee is the best evidence of a good mentor. A good mentor shows a desire and a willingness to give up time to help others, maintains a positive outlook, yet is able to be realistic and have a strong interest in their own growth and self-development.
This section describes the "softer" skills needed to be an effective mentor.
Good mentors tend to be self-assured, to give and receive constructive criticism and know how to challenge the mentee where and when it is appropriate.
To become a competent mentor you will need to be a good listener: more specifically an "active" listener. This involves tuning in to what your mentor is saying, giving them your complete concentration, and waiting patiently for them to finish, without diving in or making assumptions about what they are likely to say.
The provision of maximum attention is displayed both verbally and non-verbally through body language and eye contact. Words and actions should be used to convey encouragement to the mentee.
The effective mentor gently probes to understand the relevant issues, asks open-ended and fact-seeking questions and understands that silence is useful when information is being digested or breathing space is needed. Questions should be used to obtain information and/or steer the discussion in a particular direction. "Appreciative" listening is also important - the need to understand words and events as the mentee perceives them and with the meanings the mentee attaches to them.
It is important for mentors to convey understanding through feedback, reflecting back the mentee’s feelings and accurately summarising or paraphrasing their thought processes.
Mentors can be called upon to help mentees with work/life balance issues. Mentees may experience problems when attempting to divide time between job, career, domestic, health and fitness, spiritual and self-fulfilment issues.
Overall good mentorship is about empowering your mentee to:-
- Become self aware - evaluating themselves, developing awareness of their personal strengths and weaknesses, their skills, the contributions they make that are valued, their interpersonal relationships with others etc.
- Become self directing - following their own noses, going where their instinct and intuition take them, choosing the directions they want to take.
- Develop a sense of their own purpose - understanding their personal needs, what interests them, what they want, where they are going in life.
- Experience their own success - the reward from feedback from accomplishments in which they have shared. Learning from their mistakes. Gaining deeper insights into selves and others and the world in general through "doing".
Living in an environment where they can experience these things, peoples' motivation and commitment increase. They grow and mature as individuals, consequently becoming more effective.
People who have been good mentees tend to become good mentors - good habits can be infectious!
Our Mentors Diary helps you to focus your experiences to help you and your mentee get the most from your relationship.